What A Tangled Web We Weave
by FuzzyBlueElf-2
Summary: Black Widow decides to assassinate SuperheroesVillains
1. The Decision

What A Tangled Web We Weave  
  
Fury Headquarters  
  
Fury : Yeah, right there. That's him. Track him. Good job Melvin.  
  
Yelena Belova (Black Widow) walks in.  
  
Fury : Hey Yelena.  
  
Yelena : What's up Nick?  
  
Fury : Tracking a bank robber. Melvin, what's his identification?  
  
Melvin : His name's Doug Hennesy. He's 24, and he lives in Maine.  
  
Fury : Great.  
  
Yelena : Nick, I need to talk to you in private please.  
  
Fury : Sure.  
  
She leads him to a private room and locks the door.  
  
Fury : So?  
  
Yelena : So. You have always told me to do something with my life. Something fun, yet dangerous.  
  
Fury : I have?  
  
Yelena : Cocktail party. You made a move on me? Remember?  
  
Fury : Oh yeah, sorry about that.  
  
Yelena : No time for apologies.  
  
Fury : Okay.  
  
Yelena : So you said that to me, and I thought about it for a while.  
  
Fury : And what did you conclude?  
  
Yelena : I'm going to become an assassin.  
  
Fury : Aren't you already an assassin?  
  
Yelena : I'm talking about a different kind of assassin, Nick.  
  
Fury : Oh yeah? And what's that?  
  
Yelena : A superhero assassin.  
  
Fury : What?  
  
Yelena : You heard me.  
  
Fury : What are you talking about?  
  
Yelena : A superhero assassin.  
  
Fury : I don't get it.  
  
Yelena : What's an assassin, Nick?  
  
Fury : Someone who kills people.  
  
Yelena : And what's a superhero?  
  
Fury : Someone who saves people.  
  
Yelena : Now put those two together and what do you get?  
  
Fury : Yelena! What, are you crazy?! Assassinating superheroes!? What the heck!?  
  
Yelena : Yeah, I know, it is crazy. But aren't we all these days?  
  
Fury : You're so messed up.  
  
Yelena : You can remember this day as, well, the day you got caught in the Black Widows web.  
  
She pulls a pistol from her back, and shoots him in the corner of his forehead. He falls, and blood flies on the back of a console with a sickening "splat."  
  
Yelena : What a tangled web we weave, Fury. 


	2. Mission Elektra

What A Tangled Web We Weave  
  
Chapter 2 : Mission "Elektra"  
  
Yelena pulls up to The Elektra Manor in her Black Corvette.  
  
She walks up the stairs, and rings a doorbell.  
  
Ding, Ding Ding Dong Ding, Ding, Dong.  
  
Elektra : Hold on one minute.  
  
The door opened revealing Elektra in a bath towel.  
  
Elektra : Who are you?  
  
Yelena : Call me Black Widow.  
  
Yelena punches Elektra, and she falls onto the floor.  
  
Elektra jumps to her feet and pulls two Sais from the back of her towel.  
  
Yelena : Weapons in your bath towel? Professional.  
  
Elektra : Eeeeiiiya!  
  
Elektra swipes at Yelena with one of her daggers. She misses.  
  
Yelena trips her.  
  
She jumps into the air and cuts Yelena's cheek.  
  
A voice in the distance is heard. A man.  
  
Man : Elektra? Honey? What's all that noise?  
  
Elektra : Nothing, dear.  
  
Yelena : Husband?  
  
Elektra : How'd you guess?  
  
Yelena kicks Elektra onto the table.  
  
The man walks in to see Yelena pointing a gun at him.  
  
Man : What the he-  
  
Bang bang!  
  
She shoots him twice in the chest, and he falls over.  
  
Elektra : Chris!  
  
She checks for a pulse. Dead.  
  
Elektra : NO!  
  
Yelena starts to laugh.  
  
Elektra : Aggghh!  
  
She charges at Yelena, who falls on the floor, puts her feet on Elektra's stomach, and throws Elektra over her.  
  
Elektra's towel is almost fell off.  
  
Elektra : Excuse me for a minute.  
  
Yelena : Alright.  
  
Elektra steps into the bathroom.  
  
Yelena waits impatiently.  
  
Elektra then charges out of the bathroom with her ninja suit on and a ninja sword.  
  
Elektra takes a kick at Yelena.  
  
She blocks it.  
  
Next is a punch in the stomach. She fails to block it.  
  
As Elektra sees Yelena pull out her pistol, she runs across the room.  
  
Yelena starts shooting, and misses. She ended up assassinating a couple of vases instead.  
  
Elektra stops running.  
  
She throws the ninja sword at Yelena.  
  
It spins through the air, and goes into the wall right beside Yelena's neck.  
  
Now was Yelena's chance.  
  
She shot Elektra twice in the stomach, which causes Elektra to fall into the currently being used fireplace.  
  
Yelena : Later karate chick.  
  
FBE - Like so far? Huh? Like the idea? Tell me and review!!! 


	3. Mission Fantastic Four

What A Tangled Web We Weave  
  
Chapter 3 : Mission "Fantastic Four"  
  
God, this is so easy. Why couldn't anyone else kill these people? Jeez. I guess I'm the best there is. Now these guys, these guys are probably going to be harder. I mean, there's four of them.  
  
She walks in.  
  
Yelena : Hello?  
  
A huge, orange man greets her.  
  
Man : Hey there, beautiful.  
  
Yelena : Hi, um, Mister, can I speak to, Reed, is it?  
  
Man : Sure ya can. The name's Ben. My friends call me "Thing."  
  
Yelena : Okay, Thing.  
  
That guy is seriously screwed up. It looks like he's made of rock. Not good.  
  
Thing : Here you are.  
  
Yelena : Thanks.  
  
Thing : No problem.  
  
She walks in. It's an office, with a large desk and chairs.  
  
Mr. Fantastic : Yes?  
  
Yelena : Hi, I'm with the, um, Mutant Power Foundation. Also known as the, um, MPF. Do you mind telling me what your powers are?  
  
Shouldn't have said "um" so much.  
  
Mr. Fantastic : Um, yeah sure. I can stretch.  
  
Yelena : Awesome. So like, if someone shot you would it kill you, do you think?  
  
Mr. Fantastic : Oh yeah!  
  
Yelena : Nice.  
  
Mr. Fantastic : What?  
  
Bang, Bang!  
  
He slid back in his rolling chair.  
  
Cake.  
  
Suddenly the doors opened, and another man showed up.  
  
Yelena : Okay, you're on fire!  
  
Man : Yeah I'm the Human Torch.  
  
He turns around to see Reed dead.  
  
Human Torch : Jesus! What have you done?  
  
He shot a stream of fire at her and she dodged it. It hit the wall, which is now on fire.  
  
He shot another, and she went under the table.  
  
Then he set fire to the table.  
  
Human Torch : Coward!  
  
Yelena : WHAT was that?  
  
Human Torch : I called you a coward!  
  
Yelena : If you want to play rough, then I guess I could play along also.  
  
She shot him somewhere in the upper neck area. He fell, and his burning appearance disappeared.  
  
She noticed he was a young, attractive man.  
  
Then she felt a hit to the back.  
  
She turned around, and no one was there.  
  
Then a punch. The affect was a nosebleed.  
  
Yelena : Oh, I see. Dirty trick. You're invisible.  
  
Woman : Invisible Woman.  
  
The Black Widow pulled out an AK-47 automatic rifle, and began shooting everywhere.  
  
Then she noticed two blood spots which seemed to be floating in mid-air. If was followed by a scream.  
  
She knew she hit her.  
  
She shot about 10 more bullets in that area. More blood came.  
  
Then the woman fell down, her appearance slightly appearing more and more.  
  
Yelena noticed she was attractive too. With long blonde hair.  
  
The Invisible Woman was dead.  
  
Now for the ugly orange ape.  
  
She new he was coming. The ground rattled.  
  
The doors swung open, revealing a gigantic monster. He started yelling. He saw his friends.  
  
She started firing bullets. They bounced off his chest.  
  
He hit her, and she flew across the room.  
  
Realizing she wasn't ready for this challenge, she crawled through the open hole in the wall. It was burned from the fire. She left in her car.  
  
She would have to take care of him later. 


	4. Mission Catwoman

I forgot to put a disclaimer on the other ones, sorry! Don't hurt me! Okay, I don't own any of the Superheroes/Villains in this story. But yes, the idea for this is mine.  
  
What A Tangled Web We Weave  
  
Chapter 4 : Mission "Catwoman"  
  
Ouch. Thing. Ouch. I have a bruise the size of Dallas on my ribs. I wonder if anything is broken. I hope I can still fight. I'm aiming for Catwoman next. They say she moves like a cat. She's supposed to be clever and swift. Let's see. She pulls up in a dark alley.  
  
She's on the building. How am I going to get up there?  
  
She looks up, and sees a dark figure jump off the building. It lands on all fours. It has a tight black suit on. With goggles. Catwoman.  
  
Catwoman : Who are you?  
  
Yelena : Listen, I've had a bad day. Please just stand there and let me shoot you.  
  
Catwoman pushes her against a dumpster.  
  
Catwoman : Who ARE you?  
  
Yelena : I'm the Black Widow. You must be the CatChick.  
  
Catwoman : What do you want?  
  
Yelena : To kill you.  
  
Yelena throws a punch. Catwoman does a back handspring and dodges it.  
  
Yelena : Holy crap.  
  
Yelena tries a kick. Catwoman grabs her foot, swings her around, and throws her against the wall. She's hurt.  
  
Yelena tries to get up.  
  
Catwoman kicks her where her sore ribs are.  
  
She falls again.  
  
Catwoman bends down, and is going to try to hurt her somehow. Suddenly Yelena pulls out a pistol and shoots her right in the shoulder.  
  
Catwoman : AHH!  
  
Yelena : Yeah. It hurts. Now don't move or I'll shoot your kneecaps. I'm already sick of you.  
  
Catwoman scratches her right under her shoulder.  
  
Yelena : NNGG, jeez those are sharp.  
  
Yelena looks down. Her top is torn and she is bleeding. Deep.  
  
Catwoman then kicks her right in the middle of the face.  
  
Yelena : UGH! Bloody feline!  
  
Yelena then grabs Catwoman's shoulders and headbutts her.  
  
Catwoman is dizzy. She stumbles around, when Yelena pulls out her pistol.  
  
Before she can shoot, Catwoman scurries up the building.  
  
Yelena : Yay.  
  
After Yelena gets on top of the building, Catwoman punches her. She almost falls off.  
  
She gets onto the building.  
  
Catwoman tries to attack, and Yelena shoots both of her knees.  
  
Catwoman : AHHHHHHH!!!!  
  
Yelena : Heh.  
  
Yelena punches her, and she falls of the building. She lands hard.  
  
Yelena looks over the edge, to see her body, and says :  
  
Yelena : Meow. 


	5. Recovery

I don't own any of the Superheroes/Villains in this story. But yes, the idea for this is mine.  
  
What A Tangled Web We Weave  
  
Chapter 5 : Recovery  
  
I have so many wounds. But I must go on.  
  
She decides to have a stop at Peter Parker's house.  
  
She pulls up, walks up, and rings the doorbell.  
  
An elderly woman (Aunt May) answers.  
  
Aunt May : Yes?  
  
Just as Yelena was about to pull out the gun, she had an idea.  
  
Yelena : Um, hi. I'm a friend of Mary Jane's. Peter's girlfriend.  
  
Aunt May : Oh, hi there! What's your name, dear?  
  
Yelena : Oh, um, Trisha.  
  
Aunt May : Okay. You're here for Peter?  
  
Yelena : Yes.  
  
Aunt May : Okay, one minute.  
  
PEEEETTTTTEEEERRRRR  
  
Peter : Coming Aunt May.  
  
Aunt May : Peter, this is Trisha. She is one of Mary's friends.  
  
Peter : Oh, hi. Let's go up to my room.  
  
In Peter's room.  
  
Yelena : Hey my parents are out of town. And I was going to spend the night at Mary's but she had plans. Do you mind if I stay here a while?  
  
She needed to recover.  
  
Peter : Oh no, not at all.  
  
Yelena : Thanks.  
  
Peter : No problem.  
  
Later that night.  
  
Yelena is in her pajamas. ( She had to at least look teen, didn't she? )  
  
Peter : I'm tired. I'm going to go to sleep.  
  
Yelena : Shouldn't we brush our teeth?  
  
Peter : Oh, right. Duh.  
  
"What a geek," Yelena thought.  
  
She waits until she sees Peter fall asleep. Then she sneaks into the bathroom and retrieves Neosporin and bandages.  
  
Tomorrow she would be recovered, and out would come the bug swatter. 


	6. Mission Spiderman

I don't own any of the Superheroes/Villains in this story. But yes, the idea for this is mine.  
  
What A Tangled Web We Weave  
  
Chapter 6 : Mission "Spiderman"  
  
Morning.  
  
Peter : Trisha. Trisha. Get up.  
  
Yelena : Huh? What?  
  
She noticed he was in his Spider-man costume.  
  
Yelena : Why are you in that?  
  
Spiderman : I'm going out.  
  
Yelena : Okay. Come on, you wanna go for a walk?  
  
Spiderman : Sure.  
  
Outside.  
  
Yelena : So Peter, why don't you show me what you can do?  
  
He steps back a couple of steps. He runs then, straight at a wall. He sticks to it, and starts to climb up the wall.  
  
Yelena : Wow, is that all you can do?  
  
Spiderman : Are you kidding me?  
  
He shoots out a long stream of webbing and it sticks to a flagpole. He swings up, lets go of the web, and attaches more webbing to another pole. He swings around the pole a few times, lets go, and lands on his feet.  
  
Spiderman : Voila.  
  
Yelena : Awesome.  
  
She noticed he was fast. But not faster than a bullet.  
  
Yelena : You're fast.  
  
Spiderman : Yeah, I am.  
  
Yelena : Are you fast enough to dodge a bullet?  
  
Spiderman : What kind of question is that? No one can dodge bullets! Well, except for those mutant super speedsters, or those -  
  
Yelena : Shut up.  
  
Spiderman : Excuse me?  
  
Yelena : Spider against spider. What's stronger? A Black Widow, or whatever you are.  
  
Spiderman : Definitely the Black -  
  
BAM!  
  
Spiderman : AHHHH!  
  
He falls to the ground with a bullet in his chest.  
  
Yelena : Your suit is stained.  
  
Spiderman : Oh God! Help! Somebody help!  
  
Yelena : Shut up or I shoot you again!  
  
Spiderman : I'm dying! Please, I'm too young.  
  
Yelena : Shut up spidey.  
  
BAM!  
  
She shoots him in the head.  
  
The last thing Peter Parker heard before he died was the faint singing of the Itsy Bitsy Spider, performed by Yelena Belova - The Black Widow. 


End file.
